Sorry that I've like not written in a while. So this post is for all my peeps that like to read my stuff...even though I only have like 1 follower lol....ya never know what God will do to talk to you, just like I ran into a random girl in LOBH and read her post on this site and I knew God somehow got me to read a post that I really needed to read...so here's to anyone who no longer has a best friend....
I lost a best friend. No I don't mean they died. I mean I just don't have one anymore...again...Me and her were really close...we cared about each other in a more than just friend way...now...I'm left in the dirt while she is finally happy with someone else...It hurts, ya know. Losing someone you cared so much, after so many words were shared, after secrets no one else could know where shared...It takes a long time to build a friendship, to trust, to love one another...and it only takes so little for it to shatter. I'm hurt, angry...not so much at her, but at myself...the feeling of loneliness is depressing...I was head over heels...she was everything I loved, not your average girl. The flower and the thorn. The flaws didn't keep me away. In this life you were the feeling of belonging, all that was fair in love and war.
"When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal." - Author Unknown
I think the whole long distance thing wouldn't have worked out anyways...but it was something I was willing to fight for. I don't regret telling her how I felt that night...I did it for what I believe is a good reason...I didn't wanted her to be used by some guy...after all that's what a best friend does...looks out after you...but no my feelings weren't enough...
"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated." - Lamartine
I've have a bunch of "friends". On Facebook I have 264...only maybe...like.... 5% are actually somewhat real friends. Probably not even 5%, probably like 2%. All I've ever really wanted was a real friend, a best friend that wouldn't vanish over time...I've been searching...felt like giving up till she came along...now...it's back to searching...I'll find them...the real true friends...I know there out there...they're the needles in this haystack world...
Maybe God...maybe...he wanted me to let go of her...maybe...he has a whole different plan for what I envisioned having with her...I hope so...maybe there is someone coming...maybe that girl I dreamt of is still on her way coming to turn my world right side up...sent by Him? Maybe I'm just a dummy right now because of my emotions and I'm just saying things to try and cheer me up...but I do believe God has something better in store for me...that this feeling of lonesomeness will finally go away...that a real friend...real friends...sent by God for me will come around and stick like crazy glue...that I'll be head over heels again...
"A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It's just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one." - Author Unknown
Yea the skies may turn blood red, but I'll sing in the eye of the storm cuz my love can't be silenced. Yea the storm around me will pass, there might be destruction all around me but relief will come to me. All your dead end fury is not enough!
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